Tanya Giardano MarketersDomination.com - Author Article Feed

The Woman You Want

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 16:43:57 -0500

Just as no woman wants a man who isn't in control of his life, you don't need a woman whose life is a disaster. If she has bad habits, addictions, or a history of decisions that turn out to make her life worse, pass her by.

You might like to feel needed, but you don't need to be necessary for her survival in the everyday world. If she isn't capable of taking care of herself, you don't need to rescue her.

Be nice to her, but don't think you can cure her of an addiction or teach her how to handle her personal life better. That's what counselors are for. Trying to take on that role in a romantic relationship just won't work.

A woman you want to date will be healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. That means that she should be able to take care of herself and she won't be desperate for a man to come bail her out.

A healthy woman won't use you for security, because she already has her own. She'll still want to be with you, but because she likes you, not just what you can do for her. And she won't drop you because someone “better” comes along �" she'll like you for yourself. She'll be much less likely to be clingy and jealous as well.

If you're attracted to a woman who just doesn't have her life together, you need to date someone else. Later, when she decides on her own to straighten out her life, you might date her.

But until then, don't even try it. Remember, you want your relationships to be happy. If she can't be happy because her life is a mess, you can't make her happy and you can't be happy with her.

You can't just come in and fix everything for her �" that's her job as an adult. Taking over that job will make her angry with you, no matter how much better your solutions are. Also, constantly having to rescue a woman gets old really quick, so don't pick that relationship in the first place and you have a better chance of staying together.

Hold out for a woman who has her life together. If she is healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, you'll be able to tell. She'll be happy, calm, and self-aware. She won't have to escape reality with drugs or alcohol, or dull the pain in her life with self-destructive behavior.

She won't make excuses for dumb decisions and insist that she has no choice but to be a victim. She won't have drama cluttering up her life �" which means that she'll have room for a healthy, happy relationship with you.

Online Dating

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 16:20:06 -0500

Online dating is a huge trend now. Almost everyone has access to a computer, and online dating and matchmaking sites are a booming industry. Is it a good idea for you to sign up with an online dating site?

Here are the pros and cons of online dating:

Pros: If you’re too busy to get out to the usual places to meet women, online dating can be done from your home computer. You already know the women you meet online are looking for a relationship, and they’ll say up front what it is that they want. It’s also a great alternative if it’s physically hard for you to get out.

Cons: There’s no telling who you’re really meeting online �" a person can say anything he or she wants to about themselves and you have to take their word for it. If your schedule is too full to go out and meet women in person, it might also be too full to maintain a relationship.

Without a face-to-face meeting, you miss out on tone of voice and body language cues. And, you might find yourself attracted to someone whom it’s impossible to ever meet. You also might build up a fantasy about the woman you meet online that she can’t live up to.

The women you’ll meet: Computer-savvy women who want a relationship, who are either too busy to look for one in person, or who are insecure about who they are in person. You may also find a few women who have trouble leaving home for some reason, whether it’s a handicap or a lack of babysitters for their kids.

The relationship you can expect: Casual and virtual. If it’s too much trouble to go out in person to meet, it’s likely to be too much trouble to go out in person to date. You’ll both be able to date other people, and the only thing that would change that is if you start meeting in real life more than you do on the computer.

What to avoid: Women who aren’t who they say they are. If there’s a picture of a fabulous model next to the profile, that probably isn’t really her. Smart women actually don’t put their pictures next to their profiles �" it attracts too much of the wrong kind of attention. Pay attention to what she tells you about herself, and if the details don’t match up, something may be wrong.

The bottom line: The Internet is a great place for people to meet, but not always the best place for people to date. The importance of physical attraction is cut down to zero, so you do get to know the women who are being honest, but then you’re likely to create a fantasy about their appearance instead of being prepared to accept them for who they are.

Going on a Date Doesnt Mean You Are Dating

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:48:01 -0500

What does dating mean to you? It depends on your generation. "Going out" to a middle school girl means that you and a boy like each other even though you really aren't going anywhere.

"Going out" to a high school girl means that you get into his car and actually go somewhere without a parent driving. By the time you are a young adult, "going out" can mean anything from casual dating in the new "friends with benefits" all the way to targeting him as "the one."

Clearly dating has many meanings. Dating also has different meanings to men than to women. To avoid disappointment, you need to know what dating means to him. Chances are if he's like most guys, he can date casually for a long time without even thinking about a commitment.

But if you started reading Bridal magazines after the fourth date, then you definitely have different ideas about what dating means. Without realizing it, you'll start acting possessive and if he's a casual dater, it will drive him away before he even has time to consider a commitment.

Rushing to ring shop may cause you to miss a really fine guy. Men like to pursue women - not be trapped by them. When you try to become attached to a man too soon, you might make compromises that cause you to act against your beliefs.

If he's a real player, he'll get everything he can from you �" sex, money and adoration, but give nothing substantial in return. Men can smell desperation and some will take advantage of it.

Resist the urge to find a steady guy when your friends start pairing off or getting married. Why let your prime dating years go by without enjoying them? Dating is the ultimate "try before you buy" experience.

You get to spend time with a man alone and among friends to see how he fits into your life and how you fit into his. If you date different types of men, you're auditioning them for the potential to be Mr. Right.

It's not always women who are clingy and presumptuous, either. Men can assume too much too soon and may get possessive about you. Make it clear that you aren't ready to commit to a monotonous relationship if that's the case.

I'm Available Not Desparate

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 12:51:19 -0500

When you meet a woman, you want to be very clear that you're looking for someone to date and that you're not already in an exclusive relationship. It's also a good idea to do that without looking desperate.

Sometimes it's hard to strike that balance, but if you succeed, it'll be easy to meet interesting women who are interested in you. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you're trying to appear attractive and available:

1. You don't need a girlfriend. They're great to have around, but if you don't get a date tonight, you aren't going to die. You aren't even going to be bored, because you're a fun and interesting person who is capable of entertaining himself. If the women you meet don't accept your offer of a date, you have a backup plan.

2. Most women are friendly, polite, and will try their best to give you a chance. Your job is also to be friendly, polite, and to try your best to give them a chance.

3. Nothing is at stake when you first introduce yourself. All you're trying to do is say hello. You don't have to follow up with a brilliant conversation or a grand gesture you can move on to someone else if you want.

4. If you introduce yourself to enough single women, sooner or later one will begin a conversation with you. And a conversation is halfway to a date.

5. Keep your body language open. Keep your hands open and out of your pockets, and your arms and legs uncrossed. Practice maintaining a confident posture without looking arrogant.

6. Try not to get too concerned about how important your first impression is. It's important, but a bad impression can usually be fixed if you catch it early. And if you can't fix it, there are still other women to meet.

7. Your first goal isn't to meet women and get a date. Actually, your first goal is to practice giving the appearance of a confident, secure, interesting person. Once that starts feeling comfortable, you'll have women introducing themselves to you.

8. There are a few gestures you can use to show a woman you're interested in her meeting her eyes, straightening your tie or coat, and straightening up your posture. She is guaranteed to pick up on these, even if it's only subconsciously.

The main thing to remember is this: you may be interested in a woman, but you can still live without her. And that's the key to being available but not desperate.