When you are preparing for marriage, you need to make sure that you work with your partner to make sure that you know what you are getting into.
Now, the flowers, the cakes, the wedding arrangements, and all the planning is great, and you can have a lot of fun with all those things. But that is not what I am talking about today.
What I AM talking about is preparing the relationship for marriage. Before you make the plunge, you really need to take the time to build up your relationship. Most of the problems in marriage come from people not really understanding each other.
In fact, most of the biggest issues that you SHOULD discuss, most people never talk about until they are at each others throats, and trying not to throw in the towel. Learn to follow these tips NOW, so that you don't wind up in a crisis, trying to save your marriage
Rather than putting these things off, start right now preparing for marriage. You will have a better chance at a successful relationship if you do. So what are the topics that you should be discussing?
Here is a short list to start with:
- Raising Children
- personal space
- time management
Once you cover these, you can start taking things to an even deeper level.
You see, most people will play around the surface of these topics, and vaguely talk about them. However, you need to dive deep into the source of your understanding in order to really make things work. You should learn what your partner believes on each issue, but more importantly WHY they believe what they do.
This will help you to work out what your life goals are.
One technique that I have found works very well is to make a FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT. Sit down together, and agree to the terms of what you want your family to be. Once you do all this, write them down into a mission statement.
Then, when questions come up in your marriage, you can refer to the mission statement to resolve any conflicts. You can set a time to pull out and go over the mission statement every once in a while.
After all, as your family changes, and you both grow and learn, you will see a change in the way things work. As you have children, you should include them in this process as well. Make it a family project. It should be specific and detailed. IF you want t complete guide to writing your Family Mission Statement, I recommend that you check out Steven Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
Once you have a family mission statement, you will find that keeping everything on track is much easier. After all, you and your partner will both have the groundwork set for what is important. The more detailed your mission statement is, the better off you will be. Often, you will find that family decisions are already made, simply be referring to the agreements you have already made.
Of course, if you are already married, you can still use this to help turn things around. It is a matter of opening communication, and WRITING down your agreements so that everyone is accountable for their actions in the relationship. Start using all this today, and take your relationship to the next level.
Total Views: 541 | Approx word count : 586 | 03/28/2010