Moving Past Break Up Fights
Break up fights are dynamic, and can cause a lot of problems between you and your ex. Often you will both say things that you really don't mean, and that have hurt the other person. This can really damage your chances at getting back together, or even just remaining friends.
However, break up fights don't just affect you. Think about your friends, and family. Often they will be drawn into the fight, whether they want to be or not. If you are not careful, you can lose those relationships as well. Your break up fight will put your friends in a bad position. Think about it, if you force them to choose sides, they will have no choice but to hurt someone.
Now, you probably don't really care what happens to your ex at this point. However, you cannot gauruntee that your friends will choose you. Many people will simply refuse to choose. When this happens, you both wind up losing a good friend. Now that the break up fight is over though, how can you turn things around and keep your friends from being caught in the middle? Are you regretting the break up, and want to work on getting back your ex
? If so, then you need to follow a few simple steps to ensure that you really have a chance.
The first thing you will have to do is accept that you are both in the wrong. Most people refuse to do this, but if you don't, all the rest of the steps will be wasting your time. The fact is, there are always 3 sides to every fight. Your point of view, your ex's point of view, and what really happened. Many people, especially if they know both of you really well, will see this. Don't force them to choose between the two of you. You both lose when this happens.
Take a little time to yourself. Work out why you are so angry, and how you can heal yourself. You don't want this to go on for too long. However, you should spend a few days working things out for yourself. You have to be honest with yourself. Most people will never achieve this level of honesty. However, you need to accept that your ex may be right, from their own point of view. If you want a chance to win your ex back, or even salvage your friendship, then you will have to find a way to communicate with them, and understand their point of view.
No matter what you have done, take some time to move past the break up fights that are causing you pain. Let go of the anger, guilt, and other negative emotions that are holding you back. Not only will it hurt your ex, but it will cost you the other friends that you have as well.
Total Views: 636 | Approx word count : 502 | 03/22/2010