Every relationship has its struggles. If you want to make the relationship last then you have to understand commitment
, and decide what you are willing to sacrifice in order to make the relationship work. Sometimes, you have to keep your priorities in order.
One problem that many people have is getting their partner to commit to the relationship. They get frustrated with wanting to take things further, while their partner is content to keep the relationship the way it is. If you are in this situation, you need to find out why they do not want to commit. Chances are it has nothing to do with how they feel about you.
Most people who refuse to make a commitment to their relationship have a past trauma that scares them away from doing whatever it takes to making relationships work.
The biggest challenge with this is finding out why they refuse to commit. Most people do this all wrong, and cause more problems than they fix. This is where establishing open and honest communication is critical to resolving your conflict.
Have you gotten frustrated with the lack of commitment? Are you constantly nagging your partner to take the next step? You may need to back off, and take a slightly different approach.
If you are getting resistance, then you are probably dealing with something that they are afraid to face. When you approach them aggressively, trying to force a commitment, you will cause them to become defensive, and they will be more likely to run away than to take the plunge.
Instead of aggressively approaching them, use a softer method. Sit down, and talk with them. If you love them, then be willing to be patient, and work with them and help them to overcome the problem. Do not attack them, or try to manipulate them into a commitment. This will cause your relationship to self-destruct.
Instead, show some compassion. Ask them for their views. Talk to them, and listen to what they say. Try to understand their point of view, rather than trying to force them to accept yours. This compassionate, and listening approach will do you a lot more good than giving ultimatums.
Now, there comes a point where you have to decide what you want. If you get to that point, try to let them know in a gentle way that they need to choose between committing to your relationship, and letting it go. If they love you, they will have to face their fear of commitment.
Some people choose not to face those fears. Unfortunately, those fears may be so deeply ingrained that they are not willing to let them go. You have to make a choice here. Give in and let them keep going the same way, or let them go, and find someone who is willing to commit to you.
I have seen some people who did that, and soon found that they had someone right in front of them who was willing to give them the commitment that they always wanted.
Now, I am not advocating that you leave right away. Do what you can to try to get your partner to commit. However, if they refuse to deal with their problems, you will only make yourself unhappy by staying. If you are willing to take the time, you can find the commitment that you always wanted.
Total Views: 792 | Approx word count : 585 | 02/07/2010